Monday Meanderings

Life is too short to wake up with regrets. So love the people who treat you right.
Forget about those who don't. Believe everything happens for a reason.
If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, let it.
Nobody said life would be easy, they just promised it would most likely be worth it.

Hair: I straightened it against my better judgment *sigh* It rained!

Weight: 150.8 pounds (last night before dinner)

Body Image: Feeling like a spring lamb (I even frolicked to the car this morning)

I love spring. Something about this time of year warms my heart and soul. The weather changed numerous times on the weekend, from blinding sun to wind storms to sheets of rain. Nothing compares to having the weather match your mood, and lord knows I'm moody by nature. I must take more pictures when I'm out on my nightly walks. Last night Steve and I saw a floating object in the air that looked an awful lot like a drifting Ogopogo. Everyone I tell thinks I'm off my rocker.

I've been pretty much off program this week. I had a horrible sore throat for 3 days that kept me sleeping for the better part of the weekend. I did go over the border on Saturday to grab a bunch of "diet food" they don't sell here in Canada much to my dismay. I spent an obscene amount of money on food, but justified my purchases for the greater good of my waist line. My weigh in is tomorrow, and I do not expect anything more then a small gain. I predict +0.8.



I know its not New Product Wednesday but....I have a new favorite food that I have been buying in Blaine, WA. I love it sooo much that I am willing to sit in the border line up for 1 hour both ways to buy it. Hostess makes 100 calorie cupcakes in packs of threes. Each package has 3g of fat and 5g of Fiber making them only 1 point on Weight Watchers. I bought the only 2 flavors they had at Cost Cutters (Chocolate Cake with Creamy Filling and Cinnamon Streusel Coffee Cakes) YUM YUM YUM.



On the boyfriend front, Steve and I have still been spending quite a bit of time together, but on a platonic level. I'm going to stop talking to my friends about Steve, I don't think they need to know and quite frankly I think their theories are flawed. Both Steve and I never dated, we just fell into our relationship. We moved in together very quickly and I did what I always do, became another man's mother. I have this problem where I do EVERYTHING for the person I'm with instead of asking for help when I need it. My mother says I train my men to be lazy and I know I do.

Now I think we are courting each other again, and I quite like it. We spent Friday night on the floor of our kitchen drinking terrible wine and laughing about nothing. I had a lovely time. I no longer want to think about whether or not we're in love, if we are good for each other or if we are making each other happy. I just want to live moment to moment. I'm young, I don't have to have all the answers and I'm not in the running yet for marriage or a family.

My goals for this week are:

- Track everyday no matter what I eat this includes Bites, Tastes and Licks
- Walk for 1 hour after dinner 3 times
- Walk 30 minutes on my lunch break each day

Adam and Eve...and Steve?

Hair: Old school Redken Ringlet and Curl Keeper, Rockin the beach waves

Weight : Scale said 149.8 but I was stark naked and didn't eat that much yesterday, so it lies.

Body Image: Feel pretty hot!!

I've had lots going on in my personal life the last week. Steve and I are taking a break from our relationship and I've moved into the other room. My dad is in the hospital with Pneumonia and work has been difficult the past week. All of these have added up to me not tracking and not staying on program.

I had the biggest binge fest on Wednesday. I haven't pigged out like that in a long long time. Literally everything that was food in the vicinity went into the big gaping hole called my mouth. I was plagued with guilt afterwards and felt like a total idiot for doing something to sabotage my journey towards weight perfection. I've been making better choices since that night, but I still haven't been tracking. The scale says I've lost weight, but I don't believe that to be accurate.

The last few months, Body Image has been a big concern for me. I believe many of the reasons I sabotage my relationships are due to how I feel about myself at the time. My weight started to creep up around November/December and I started to feel unattractive and undesirable. I fell into the habit of coming home from work and crashing on the couch (usually involved eating as much as I could find). Both Steve and I were unhappy with our jobs and we were arguing a lot. I had no outlet for my stress and I was miserable.

When I started to work out, watch what I was eating and turn myself around, I felt better about myself and my body. Unfortunately, this caused problems with Steve because he was still in the same place I had been. My attitude had improved, but his had not. We were no longer having joint pity parties. Now can we meet each other in the middle? Is that possible?